Son Of Macenstein

Ai Robotoics has begun taking orders for its new “Perfect Woman” female robots, and if your idea of the perfect woman is a somewhat freakish-looking robotic mannequin with a bad haircut that can cook, go shopping, give you a hydraulic massage AND recharge her own batteries, you’re in luck. Behold “Lisa”.

That text that scrolls by along the bottom actually says, among other things “Batteries not included”. Perhaps that should be a hint, but honestly, we can’t tell if this thing is legit or not, and we’re too scared that we’ll end up in a sex offender database to fill out their contact form and get a price, but yes, it appears this thing WILL have sex with you if you are brave enough to insert yourself into one of her robotic orifices. (Anyone seen the movie Teeth?) Yes, that’s right. All work and no play makes Lisa a dull robot.

According to the site:

We have designed Lisa to be a true companion. She is there to serve you. She dresses herself and recharges herself automatically. You can talk to her about news, travelling, culture and music. Lisa has an IQ of 130. She is even able to satisfy your desires in the bedroom. For this we have cooperated with a renowned sexologist whose expertise has been integrated into Lisa’s configuration.

Great. Now, the question is, is that sexologist Victoria Zdrok, or Dr. Ruth?

The more we look at videos of this thing, the less and less we are convinced she can really do anything other than take your hat as you walk through the door. Teddy Ruxpin could do more. Take a look at this video, and tell me if you think you can send this thing down to the store to do your shopping for you.

Somehow I think if she could walk they would show it. With such limited movement, I’m betting the sex with this robot will be more like sex with a real woman after about 10 years of marriage than the hot, robotic monkey love we’re all envisioning, and who the hell wants that? (If the Bride of Macenstein is reading this, I’m just kidding).

Available in “blonde, brunette, and redhead” (but only caucasian skin tones), Lisa is ready to ship to those brave enough to have her appear on your credit card bill. I’m begging one of our billionaire readers to please place an order and report back, as I just have to know if this thing is really a legitimate robot, or just a breakdancing girl in bad makeup. I suppose the fact that I can’t tell for sure one way or the other is either a testament to Ai Robotic’s engineering skill, or to the skill of their makeup person. Of course, the fact that the site is also available in French, land of the mimes, could be a bad sign…