This is easily one of the top 3 best “Japanese schoolgirl fight” videos I’ve ever seen.
The fight itself is awesome and goes on way too long, but what really makes this video stand out for me is the surreal “barcode-head” man at the end. I’m sure the reality of what he is saying will come up short against what I imagine, but at the risk of ruining this video for me, I must know what he is saying.
Thanks to faithful Son Of Macenstein reader Walter for the link.
Seriously. How much malpractice insurance do these girl’s plastic surgeons have?
Suddenly Lisa is looking a little more real…
[via funzombie]
No, don’t let the beard fool you, this is not Papa Smurf. It is a full sized man named Paul who took his self-prescribed “colloidal silver” therapy a little too far. Paul ordered a colloidal silver generator when his friend came down with a case of petroleum poisoning. Paul read that colloidal silver therapy (which consists of drinking small amounts of silver) could help. Even though Paul did not have petroleum poisoning, he began drinking the colloidal silver out of sympathy for his friend. “I thought the kindest thing to do would be to take it with him just to make him more comfortable with the idea.”
Well, one thing led to another, and Paul began using colloidal silver to cure pretty much anything that ailed him, ultimately rubbing the darn stuff on his skin to cure a bad case of dermatitis. Paul now has so much silver in his body that he has developed a rare condition called argyria, in which his skin has become discolored by the silver’s reaction with the sun.
Despite this unfortunate turn of events, Paul’s not feeling too blue (OH NO I DIDN’T!). Actually, Paul has done remarkably well for himself. Somehow he was able to not only find a woman after turning blue, he actually convinced her to marry him. Now that’s love.
Or desperation.
And while Paul’s Ron Burgundy pageant days are likely over, if X-Men 3 taught us anything, it’s that Paul has a bright future as the Secretary of Mutant Affairs. And you KNOW that gig’s gotta pay mega bucks!
[via Oprah.com] yes, You read that right.
Ai Robotoics has begun taking orders for its new “Perfect Woman” female robots, and if your idea of the perfect woman is a somewhat freakish-looking robotic mannequin with a bad haircut that can cook, go shopping, give you a hydraulic massage AND recharge her own batteries, you’re in luck. Behold “Lisa”.
That text that scrolls by along the bottom actually says, among other things “Batteries not included”. Perhaps that should be a hint, but honestly, we can’t tell if this thing is legit or not, and we’re too scared that we’ll end up in a sex offender database to fill out their contact form and get a price, but yes, it appears this thing WILL have sex with you if you are brave enough to insert yourself into one of her robotic orifices. (Anyone seen the movie Teeth?) Yes, that’s right. All work and no play makes Lisa a dull robot.
According to the site:
We have designed Lisa to be a true companion. She is there to serve you. She dresses herself and recharges herself automatically. You can talk to her about news, travelling, culture and music. Lisa has an IQ of 130. She is even able to satisfy your desires in the bedroom. For this we have cooperated with a renowned sexologist whose expertise has been integrated into Lisa’s configuration.
Great. Now, the question is, is that sexologist Victoria Zdrok, or Dr. Ruth?
The more we look at videos of this thing, the less and less we are convinced she can really do anything other than take your hat as you walk through the door. Teddy Ruxpin could do more. Take a look at this video, and tell me if you think you can send this thing down to the store to do your shopping for you. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a somewhat sick fascination with Pizza box art errors, and this one in particular keeps cropping up around here (the Northern NJ area). In an iconic example of irony, it reads “God Bless America”, and features a picture of the American flag… with 51 Stars.
The stripes are pretty fucked up too, although I will chalk that up to the “artist’s” attempt to show the flag majestically blowing in the wind. If you count them there are indeed 7 reds and 6 whites, but try to follow the path each stripe takes starting at the left and moving right. Where the hell does that bottom stripe come from that starts halfway across the flag?!?
In the past I just figured this mockingly Un-American show of Americanism was an honest mistake. After all, they clearly want God to bless America. But tonight, for the first time in about 50 pizzas (I order in quite a bit) I decided to flip this box over and see if I could determine what Axis of Evil nation actually manufacturers these things. As the box hit the table, an icy cold gripped my heart as I realized… the makers of this box had tricked us. They were not pro-American at all…
They are PRO PIZZA!
Man. And on Memorial Day of all days…
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